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How to find web hosting that meets my requirements?

I know there are zillions of commentary about hosting out there, but I haven't read much about this. Our current well known host is having too many problems, the hardware we are on it subpar, and I'm ready to leave. A day of downtime can cost as much as our monthly hosting bill. A month of bad performance is just killing us right now, user and google wise.

I'm wondering about running two dedicated boxes for LAMP, one running as the primary Nginx/Apache (proxy pass), and the other as the MySQL box. Running a single box scares the bejesus out of me because who knows how long it will take anyone to fix a raid card or whatever. The idea is to set this up using some sort of failover system using pacemaker and heartbeat. If one server goes down the other can take over for the other running both web and db. There are some good articles over at Linode about this. I have a few DBs that are 1GB+ and would like to load them into memory. Because of this, I'm shying away from a Linode HA setup because for the price I could do it with two dedicated like I described.

Am I mad or an idiot? What are people out there doing for pseodu high availability good performance setups under $400/month? I'm a webmaster; I do a lot of things none of it that well :)